Olina Qian

Frankly speaking, I’ve been try to void watching this video for a long time, had experience defect baby in my life, it is hard for me to see anyone imperfect. I know he is quiet inspiring, but I feel hurt to see him without limbs. Somehow today, I decide to click through this video, after all, this is a new start of the year, we got to start to do something new.

Recently I’ve been reflecting a lot, and I am surprised to find that: I am far more lovable than I ever realized and many people love me far more than I can imagine. This thought surprise me! I find I am the person harsh to myself than anyone else in this world. Sometimes I refuse to let people in my life because I don’t believe I am lovable. So my new year resolution is: Everyday after I wake up in the morning, I tell myself:

Olina, I love and accept you exactly as you are!

I want you to be happy, I want you to be successful, I want you to live in your whole life! I give you full permission to do everything you want and I believe you deserve the best thing in the world!

If Nick can say: I love living life, I am happy! I think everyone else in this world has no excuse to say no to life, no matter how difficult the situation looks like now, remember this is not the end. It will all getting better, as long as you believe it!

Recently, I find myself very easy to get tired, and I couldn’t sleep well at night. Today, I ground myself down and ask myself: Hey, Olina, What happened? Why do you make yourself so exhausted? After peel several layers down, I figured out the main reason I am so tired is I am fighting with the reality now. When things doesn’t go as I wished, even after I gave it my best try, I refuse to accept the truth and wish it happened differently. (Wow, what a brave girl! )When you fight with reality, you will only lose 100% of the time. Byron Katie said so, and I think she is right.

So let’s have a quick review what just happened: I was living in a centered place, when one incident happened, I had a choice, I can either choose to take it, or I can choose to leave it. To honor my adventurous spirit, I chose to take it, since it brought me lots of hope and new perspective. But after I ride on that road for two, three weeks, I find out that the more I go, the more it doesn’t feel right. Yes, I don’t know what’s really wrong, but it just doesn’t feel right. So I got an inner conflict. I started to be back and forth, to continue, I don’t see any hope, to backward, somehow part of myself refuse to let it go. So I stuck.

Does this process sounds familiar to you? It is such an old story for me, especially I believe in WORKING HARD. Or, working hard sometimes means the same to stubborn or even stupid for me. So I started to coach myself and see what is really inside for my learning. I am grateful for what happened and because of what happened, I got a chance to face my vulnerablity and fear, then know more about myself and my truth. Here is what I learned in this process:

1. Everything happens for a reason, everyone in your life is your teacher. If something still troubles you, it means there are something for you to learn. If I refuse to learn, it will happen again and again until I learned my lesson. Until I change, I will attract the same type of person and same type of situation in my life. So what did I learn in this incident? In a nutshell, taking things slowly, take one step at a time, nothing needs to be rushed.

2. What is your heart inviting? I believe lots of things or people are attracted to you by your energy. So if you attracted the wrong people, maybe because you had the wrong expectation or something is conflicting inside of you. So it is time to really clear my mind and ground down what do I really want, since every thought matters. One’s power become maximum when their mind, body and heart are in the same direction. In Dale Carnegie, we call it congruent, here, I call it consistency. When things happen, it is such a good opportunity to locate your inconsistency spot and re-tune your balance.

3. Belief. I wake up this morning, and asked myself, Olina, do you believe that everything in your life will get well soon, no matter which aspect of your life? I scared myself by asking this question, because I can easily say I do, but deeply in my heart, I am not sure, there are still lots of uncertainty there. Just because of the uncertainty, we put ourselves in fear, we hope for the best but we prepare for the worst, then which kinds of energy will you attract when you don’t even believe in yourself?

4. Choice. No matter how good or how bad our life goes, we always have a choice. Of course, not accepting the truth and the reality, continue fighting it can be one choice. Accept who you are and what happened around you can be another choice. Not making a choice can be another choice too. Today, I choose to simply accept the reality and loving what is, it is a choice too.

5. Stop and go. Stop means stop beating a dead dog, go means moving forward. There gotta to a point you say, hi, it is enough, when I look at the arches, I know it is now.

Lastly, I asked myself why it happens at this time, right now, during my initial quest of pursuing freedom. What is the universe trying to tell me about FREEDOM through it. Is it a test from Universe to see if I am ready for my true freedom? It could be, I don’t know, but I believe this is a friendly universe, so everything happened will eventually build on my growth and all my growth will lead to my success down the road, as long as I embrace the reality! It is time to get myself back and explore my version of freedom!

I am in CTI’s year long leadership program and I have a life long quest to pursue. I used to think that my quest is to empower women, since I’ve been in a very difficult situation that I don’t know where to ask for help when I really need support. Now I am out of the situation, so I wish I can give other women that support when they needed. It is something I can do, but somehow I feel it is not 100% resonate with me.

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Really love today’s message from Neale Donald Welch, it says:

…that all change is change for the better.

There is no such thing as “change for the worse.” Change is the process of Life itself, and that process could be called by the name “evolution.” And evolution moves in only one direction: forward, and toward improvement.

Therefore, when change visits your life, you can be sure things are turning for the better. It may not look that way in the very moment change arrives, but if you will wait a while and have faith in the process, you will see that this is true.

How many times that we refuse to changes? Because we we fear that we will lose everything we have. When we attaching to that fear, we stuck. It is so true that change is the process of life itself, no matter how tight you hold on it, it will happy. Today, I am practicing on surrender myself on the changes and embrace the moment of uncertainty and have the faith that it will change better!

I read an interesting article last Friday, the name is 30 things stop doing to yourself. After two days, the whole idea is still running in my back brain, then I realize that there is something there for me to learn. Since I am a coach, I don’t like the way to say stop doing, I am going to add my comment on what we should do instead. After all, the universe needs to know what we want, instead of what we don’t want. right?

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

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I recently went to Puerto Rico with bunch of friends. I shared room with two other beautiful girls. I have not share room with others for a while, then I realized something new. One girl wake up 90 minutes before we go out everyday, makeup, clean up and be well prepared. The other girl wake up 30 minutes before we go out everyday, do the same thing. When it came to me, I only wake up 10 minutes before we go out everyday, clean my face, put some lotion, then go out. When they are impressed how fast I can be, I am impressed how enjoyable when they can take things slow.

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I went to ski in Tahoe last weekend. Not a first time skier, but this time I decided to take some class to ramp up my skill. So I took a whole day lesson in Northstar on Sunday. Jim, who is my ski instructor, asked me at beginning: where are you at now? I said, I know how to stop, I know how to make turns, but since I am right dominant, so it is easier to make left turn than right. He told me to ski a bit for him, then he stopped me. He asked: Did you realized what happened? I said no. He said, when you turn right, you need to make a big turn from your left feet and use to left feet to support the turn. I see that you make a hopeful try there, but it doesn’t help. I need you to be really determined on your turn, be firm and see what’s happen.

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I often hear people talk about office politics, which made them feel cold, suffering and not comfortable. They either needs to to do something to protect themselves or need to pretend to be someone they think they should be but not themselves. We only have 24 hours per day, we use 8 hours to sleep, 8 hours to spend time with family and run all kinds of errands, for the most quality 8 hours that when we awake, we come to office and work. To sure the 8 hours of good sleep, we need a good bed. To ensure 8 hours of quality family time, we need to find ourselves a good life partner. But what shall we do when we need more happiness at work? I had a great pleasure to attend my favorite mentor Karen Kimsey-House’s ‘Air’ presentation last night. She introduced a model that brings aliveness to corporate. Which it very simple, just AIR.

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