Love, Freedom, Truth.

My friend referred me to Fred Kofman when he talked about leadership development. So I checked out his website this afternoon. He seems a very solid guy, holds a doctorate in economics from Berkeley, professor at MIT’s sloan, helping big companies such as GM, Microsoft to grow their leadership. But what interested me most is what he said in the book called ‘The Translucent Revolution’:

When you act in integrity, you are always willing to subordinate success to the alignment with the truth.

You have an unwavering commitment that manifests itself in your day to day actions.

Love, freedom, and truth are more important than anything else, and you will not subordinate those to the acquisition or the achievement of some secondary goal. I call that success beyond success.

I really like his value system. He seems value integrity a lot and he prefers to subordinate success to the alignment with the truth. He put ‘Love’, ‘Freedom’ and ‘Truth’ as the most important things compare with achievement of other secondary goals. It does require lots of guts to do so.

2010 is the beginning of the new decade, I believe everyone has his own goals, dreams and expectations. I wish all you dream comes true. And I encourage you to write down all your dream(I called it vision) in paper, maybe by the end of 2019, you can check back and see how did you do in this ten years. Put it in writing can be a very powerful way to clear out your vision. Since if you don’t know where you are going, you are far less likely to get there. If you don’t write it down, you might lost it somewhere.

The most important thing is, regardless what have you set for your goal, I wish you can put ‘Love’, ‘Freedom’ and ‘Truth’ on the first place, massage it with Integrity, after all, that’s the most important thing in life. Wish you get the success of success in your life.

Merry Christmas!

I wish you Health…
So you may enjoy each day in comfort.

I wish you the Love of friends and family…
And Peace within your heart.

I wish you the Beauty of nature…
That you may enjoy the work of God.

I wish you Wisdom to choose priorities…
For those things that really matter in life.

I wish you Generosity so you may share…
All good things that come to you.

I wish you Happiness and Joy…
And Blessings for the New Year.

I wish you the best of everything…
That you so well deserve.

Merry Christmas!

Enjoy your life.

It was the third time I listened to My Dale Carnegie Instructor Jewel Mccarry told this story. When the first time I listened to it, I felt it is little weird. The 2nd time I listend to it, I felt nothing. The 3rd time I heard it, I was deeply touched by the story. It made me thought a lot. I think it will be good to share this story with you in this beautiful holiday season. Wish you enjoy it as I did.

That’s a beautiful summer day, Jewel and his beloved wife Helen went to Yosimate Park, they stopped at the bridal veil falls, see the beautiful waterfall comes down to the pond, they are very excited.

‘It is very beautiful, isn’t it?’ A very old lady seated on the wheelchair next to them asked Helen. Helen said yes, while she looked at this old lady. She dressed up in a very good quality clothes, her make up is very good, although you can tell she is very very old.

‘My husband and I came here for our honeymoon.’ , the old lady told Helen. ‘At that time, there are no people here at all. It is very quiet here. Look at the pond there? We used to swimmed together there…….without our clothes.’

Jewel and Helen looked at each other, didn’t know how to respond at first, then they laughed together.

Then Jewel told us: You know, for such a old lady, she used to be beautiful. she was wealthy and healthy before. She has a husband she loved the most. But now she is at the end of her life, not much time left for her, her loved one has left this world already. She traveled to the place they visited together in their honeymoon, to trace back the happy life they spent together. Yet, she still has some wild story she can think of, she can share with a nice couple like us, something she can be proud of…..

So my suggestion today is, go out enjoy your life, go swim with your clothes ‘ON’, but do something you normally won’t do before, go test out your boundry, leave some good memories for yourself. Maybe one day, when you get old, you don’t have much hair and teeth left, when you loved one left you, when you look back to your history, hope there are still lots of interesting stories you can share with your grandson, even some strangers on the road.

Life is beautiful! Go enjoy it as the maxium as you can!

Who lives in your ‘Village’?

I recently read a great book: 80-20 rules. Basically it talked about 20% of your time generate 80% of the result. Same principle. 20% of your input generate 80% of the revenue, which is very true, but I’ve never thought of this way.

In the middle of the book, it mentioned an interesting theroy I’d like to share with you, it is called ‘Village theory’:

Anthropologists stress that the number of exhilarating and important personal relationships that people can establish is limited. Apparently, the common pattern of people in any society is to have two important childhood friends, two significant adult friends, and two doctors. Typically, there are two powerful sexual partners who eclipse the others.

Most commonly, you fall in love only once, and there is one member of your family whom you love above all others. The number of significant personal relationships is remarkably similar for everyone, regardless of their location, sophistication or culture. This had led to the anthropologists’ “village theory”.

In an African village, all these relationships happen within a few hundred meters and are often formed within a short-period of time. For us, these relationships may be spread all over the planet and over a whole lifetime. They nonetheless constitute a village which we each have in our heads, and once these slots are filled, they’re filled forever.

So in California, a group of volunteers tried to used 5 years to work on testimony. They tried to help those girls who didn’t get chance to receive good education, met their significant others in their early ages, some of them even had kids when they were 13. Their boyfriends or husbands either dead or were put in jail when they were 20ish. So they had lots of life experience when they were young.

Those volunteers tried to help those girls to change their life, so they put them among well educated people and try to build up some new relationships. But after five years, they failed. Because those girls had too many experience already, even if they met good people now, their village has been filled in their early stage of life, so there is no more space for others and they don’t have ability to build a deep relationship with others now.

This is really an interesting theory. So if you have a pen and a piece of paper now, I’d like to have you write down people who lives in your village. And have a check to see if they bring you happiness all the time or painful experience all the time. If it is latter, maybe you should think to restructure your village, empty your heart and save some space for a better person.

After all, 20% of the people around you make the 80% of your happiness. You want to make sure you are surrounded by the great people and work out a great life experience.

What if you can’t reach your dream?

I am coaching five class memebers this time in Dale Carnegie Training. Ruoyu is a very shining one of them. She is a CFO of a company, she has her own CPA firm and she is even a dance instructor. We had a great time talking to each other and Ruoyu told me that she has a great leadership mentor Brett Mosher, she’d like to connect me and Brett together.

So Brett, Ruoyu and I had a great lunch together this Monday in Loving Hut, Milpitas. Great food, great people, great conversation and great spirit there. When I asked Brett what does he do when free. Brett said, he is out of town almost every weekend traveling around and spend time with families. I admire his wisdom and his life style. After the lunch, I decide to share with him my five year’s vision. I’d like to see his response.

It is amazing that Brett replied me very quick. He said:

Yours is a powerfully inspiring vision. I am sure it helps you focus your energy on continuing toward that day. You have clearly spent some quality time building the vision.

It is so powerful that it begs the question: are you going to be intensely disappointed if you don’t reach that image, exactly?

If no, then your vision is doing just what it should, propelling you towards an ideal future. If yes, are you better served modifying your goals?

I like his sincerity and I answered:

I think I can answer your question this way: always hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

Another thing is: If you aim high, you might reach in the middle. But if you aim in the middle, then you reach the lower point.

You can tell by now that I am such an idealist. I have an eager want to success. Again my definition of success is: It is a journey to find my mission to this world, reach my maximum potentials and sowing the benefit for others. That’s exactly what I am doing everyday. 🙂

After I replied, I thought of a story, so I asked Brett,

Have you heard of that story? A Haas professor told their MBA student:

You know, even if you work hard here, only 20% of people here can be very successful.

Then the students asked: What about the other 80%?

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Keep your dream alive!

We had a great CINA event last night in Fenwick, the topic is keep your dream alive. We had about 60 attendees, and everyone had three minutes to talk about their passion, their dream and their new year resolutions.

I arrived Fenwick about 6:20pm last night, with two bottles of red wines and two bottles of white wines and three pack of cheeses. Incidentally Yesterday was also Simon Ma’s Son’s one month anniversary. So Vicki also prepared a big cake for him. Simon has been a great volunteer for CINA for long time, we appreciate his dedication and happy to see his son coming.

We started around 7pm. Vicki opened the session, she suggested us each used three minutes to talk about our dreams and hopes, then she turned the microphone to me, asked me to moderate the event. Without much preparation, I happily took this task and started with my dreams.

I first quickly introduced about myself and what I am working on. Then I associated the dreams with success. Since everyone wants to become successful, but what really does success means. First, it is a procedure, not a destination. Then, you need to find the purpose you come to this world, grow to the maxium of your potentials and sowing the benefit for the other people. Since it is not about what you can get from this world, it is about what you can give to this world.

Then everyone got three minutes to talk about there dreams. I found the following people are very interesting.

Vincent Yip, a Stanford professor, will start a course in Stanford about Entrepreneurship and Doing Business in China. He seems very knowledgable about what he is talking about. So pity that I need to coach Dale Carnegie Course every Thursday night, or else, I’d like to check out his class.

Angela Chou, CINA’s former president, she talked about career switch from Engineer to Executive assistant. And she suggested that do things you passionate about, it is very important.

Angelika? , when Vincent mentioned that the future of this world is US, Indian and China. Angelika said, I think the future of world is in China. Angelika will do some lecture in Vincent’s course too, and she is a branding expert. I like the way she present herself.

Michael Lu, I know Michael Lu about one year already, and I was deeply impressed about his presentation last night. He is passionate about the green tech industry and wish to contribute his part in it. I connected him to some of my friends who works in this industry today and if you happens to be in Green Tech and wants to find some partner, Michael can be a great candidate.

Victor Huang, he mentioned about there is a Gene inside of everyone. Did he read the book ‘The secret’? I think it is very true.

Kevin Wang, he is working on a Pubsubnetworks, (or is a web service to publish your messages to anyone who subscribed to your topic. Sounds really interesting to me.

It was a great event that I felt there are so many positive energies in this room. Our event finished around 9pm, and people started to do networking. The chat went so well that they don’t want to leave until 10:30pm. Yes, I believe everyone has something he passionate about. But there is not much chance that we can talk about our hopes and dreams. Thanks for Vicki Young who brough us together and gave us this great opportunity share our passion and our dreams. I did enjoy the session, I am impressed by each and everyone of their dreams and I wish all those dreams can come true for them.

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Where are you in the game?

I went to the All Ivy League Mixer last night in San Fransisco, since my previous coach Deep Sahni was the guest speaker there. It took me one and half hour to get in the city and half an hour to find the parking spot. By the time I arrived, the event was almost over.

So I walked around to meet several interesting people while eating cheese(Oh, I love cheese!). After the event, Deep suggested we went to grab some food together. I ate already before I went, but I love to talk to Deep, so I went five other people.

It was very up-lifting experience when you listen to Deep, he certainly bought lots of positive energy to me. It is very easy to meet smart people in Sillicon Valley, but it is rare to meet wise people like Deep who is willing to share the wisdom. And below are what I learned last night, hope it brings some value to you too!

1. In order to advance your career, you should start to talk to people work in other departments of your company and see what you can help with them. Start to do it today!

2. Understand that MBA is only an element, not an enabler for your career success.

3. We all should learn to deal with unknown and deal with life changes. Every changes present an opportunity to learn.

4. East coast is like a box, everything is set up perfectly, you just need to find your niche and fit in. West coast is more about creation, building, it is a hub of creating the world! So you can find more opportunity in Silicon Valley. There is not much place like Sillion Valley, in France, they can easily deny your apartment application just because you are asian, but here, you can almost do whatever you passionate about and make this world a better place.

5. Everyday there is new opportunity to meet new people and do something interesting, you just need to throw yourself out there.

6. If you want to go back to China as a Director, you need to become a Director here. Since compare to local Chinese people, they have their strong networking and resource there already, only if American company send you back , then you have the advantage to compete with them. But how to get to that level, you have to talk to people, become a leader here first. What to take to get you there? Involve in the community and understand the business process.

7. You have to fail to learn. So don’t be afraid of mistake. In Asia, people think you are stupid when you make mistake. In US, we consider mistake is a great way to learn.

8. American is external focus. Try to know how market, competition and customer are doing instead of focus on you.

9. You should get out of your system, throw away your definition from china, and adapt the American culture.

10. Business school’s supply and demand: Student supply and company hiring.

11. As an immigrant, you need to play the game three times better than others to be succeed here, before they let you lead the game.

12. Risk tolerance can be very important, you should be willing to take the risk.

13. Americans like to talk about Basketball.

14. When people has different opinion, you should ask why they think that way instead of explain to them your opinion.

15. You should have the ability to get things done, instead of thinking all the time

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A path leads to career happiness!

I came cross this presentation online from June Dershewitz . She give this presentation at eMetrics. The whole contents make perfect sense for me, so I’d like to share it with you in this beautiful winter morning.

It just stopped rainning outside, lots of the leaves are blown away by the wind. The air is clean and crispy. I just finished my morning Yoga session. I took several deep breaths in the parking lot. Looking around the beautiful houses in the neighborhood, I feel that this world is so peaceful and wonderful. Oh, life is so beautiful.

What I love the most of this presenation is the ‘Knowing yourself’ part! It categorized it by Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow. I love the way she put it and I believe everyone comes to this world for a mission. We just need to keep exploring, find out our mission, know more about ourselves, understand the outside world, then we can come up the self awareness of what you are good at doing, what you should stay away, what can be changed in your life, what can not be changed, or you should not even touch, then you can enjoy the journey. After all, you know yourself the best and it is you who cares about your future the most.

Hope you find your path leads to your career happiness, furthermore, life happiness! Sooner the better!

Oh, last but not least, here is another interesting Zen Habbit article I’d like to share with you today. I love it when one lady asked authors: My hubby lacks interest in anything except boating. How can I motivate him to get off the sofa? (via @organizedsandra)

The authors replies: I don’t think you can motivate others — if they want to do something, they’ll do it. If they don’t, then don’t make them.

However, you can influence others in positive ways. I’d recommend setting an example by doing, and sharing how great it is, without judgment for what he’s doing. If he’s happy doing what he’s doing, then that’s great. If he’d like to do more, then be there for support — but don’t push.

You can ask for his help, as well, in your efforts. Sometimes spouses love to help, and that can rub off on them and get them thinking about trying it themselves. Or maybe not.

In the end, worry more about what you’re doing and less about what he’s doing — he’s living his life and you’re living yours. People don’t like to be pushed or judged or badgered, but like to be loved and accepted.

Little off topic, huh? I guess what I want to say is–take control of your own life, work on the things we need to work on. But, never try to control or change others, even people you love the most or love you the most.