Ever since I joined the co-active coaching community, I started to receive lots of interesting email discussing ways to better coaching people. One of the coaches has questions on how to coaching people facing terminal illnesses or some closest friend dies, Vivienne Simon(Founder of Facing death with love) responses:
One of the most powerful areas to claiming back full control over one’s life is to look consciously at boundaries. What do you want to say “no thanks” to and what to you want to say “yes!” to.
Look at what you want to release, and what you want to welcome. For some, there are new disabilities and limitations that will also be part of the new boundaries of who they choose to have in your life, what activities, how you spend your time, what does self care look like, what do or don’t you tolerate, what to you commit to, etc.
Once you get consious about your boundary, you are taking full control of yourself. Remeber happiness and success in life are not the result of what we have, but rather of how we live. What we do with the things we have makes the biggest difference in the quality of life.
In Chinese Culture, we believe that if we have the heart, you will know. So usually guys are not willing to say I love you, because we think if I love you, I tell you once, you know it for the rest of the life. But in fact, things may not working that way, your girl friend will probably be more happy if you tell her your feeling everyday, so does Thank you note.
For example, someone did a great favor for you, you said Thank you at the event, it is good. In the meantime, you might want to follow up with a Thank you note as well. See what Dale Carnegie Coach’s corner teach you today:
The Lost Art of the Thank You Note: Give Honest, Sincere Appreciation
Writing a sincere thank you note is one of the professional skills that can make a lasting favorable impression. People like being appreciated. One of Dale Carnegie’s fundamental human relation principles is “Give honest, sincere appreciation.” When writing a thank you note, use a plain, small card. However, the card is not as important as the effort, so if paper is all that is available, write the note anyway! Use this 6-step formula as a sure-fire method of expressing appreciation in a written note.
Greet the Giver: Dear Mr. and Mrs. Smith OR Dear Jamie. It seems like an obvious point, yet many people will begin a note with “Hi” or even omit the greeting.
Express Gratitude: Thank you so much for the book. The key is to keep it simple and specific. The point of writing the note is to create an expression of a heartfelt sentiment.
Discuss Use: I started to read the book immediately and have found many great ideas already. People like to know that you found their gesture or gift valuable. Sharing how you are using the item or idea makes their effort more meaningful.
One more point I want to add is, it is not about what you know, it is about what you do! So put your sincere appreciation in your heart, appreciate others for every little thing happening in your life, you will find out the more your appreciate others, the happier you might become!
Thanks for all the birthday blessings through Facebook, Email, Text message and call. My heart is overflowing with gratefulness for the kindness and respect from you all! I feel myself extremly lucky to be surround by so many great friends! You made my life even more fulfilling! I’d like to say thank you to you all from bottom of my heart!
I missed the meetup yesterday, but luckily I received the following note from Peter, the organizer. I found it is very userful! What do you think?
JJ, an Associate of 5 Star Startup Services, talked about his experiences of starting 10 companies in the past 30 years. Among the gems he divulged were:
Don’t quit your Day Job, because you’ll need the income while you’re trying to form your company. It always takes longer than you expect to get revenue flowing. Have some contingency plans, so that if your 1st plan doesn’t work you have options.
–I like the first point already. It is always good to have some contingency plans.
Vision: have a significant purpose & passion for your product, then the money will follow.
Even if you haven’t completed development, get a Foundation Customer, so you can develop and test your concept on them, to see if it works and if they like it. Listen to their feedback.
It’s better to have good Functionality, than a product that looks good.
Focus your Energies on one product. Once you have a little extra bandwidth, experiment on ideas where you can be the best.
Choosing a Partner is extremely critical to your success. You should get to know them well, to determine if you’re compatible and you can work well together BEFORE making a partnership. Draw up a good contract, doing business on a MoU is a No-No, do a Non-binding Trial Partnership at arms length for at least 6 months and see how it works. Before discussing “binding partnerships”.
Look for Leverage Opportunities with other organizations, (ie, Reseller channels), so that you can multiply your efforts.
Hiring: Use written questions to be more objective in your interview process. Use due diligence in all your actions & decisions. Don’t hire anyone that is not passionate about your product. Get good Marketing & Sales personnel (who can close deals). Never settle for “less than the best” when hiring.
Don’t try to be too “friendly” with your Staff, because you have to be objective to make the best decisions.
You can’t startup new Staff in a remote location. Make sure the staff is working well before you put distance between you.
Direct help or support of your significant other is important to building your business, because they must share some of your passion and understand all the time that you spend with your other love.
Today I saw an interesting post on Facebook. It is from Bill Reichert . Bill is a managing Director at Garage Technology Ventures. Today, he posted a thank you note to all the friends greeting on his birthday:
Thanks to all for the birthday wishes, and for a wonderful birthday weekend! I am very blessed. As Einstein said, “There are two ways to live: You can live as if nothing is a miracle, or you can live as if everything is a miracle.” The other day, my son helped put away the dishes!
I was deeply touched when I saw his quote: There are two ways to live: You can live as if nothing is a miracle, or you can live as if everything is a miracle!
It echos what I read in Tony Robbin’s personal power 2. Do you know how Tony define susscess? He said, success is creating consistant pleasure in your life and causing yourself to grow! Failure is being able to find pain no matter how good things are!
So your attitude plays a big role in your life, it is about what you focus on and what’s your perspective to life. If you think life is miserable, oh yes, Life will proves that you are right. But if you think life is a miracle, no matter how difficult situation you are in, there is always a turning point for you. Since life is all about choice, you can choose to live passionately, or you can choose to live negatively. Life can be a miracle, or nothing, you are the master of your life, so you can define it!
In Dale Carnegie Training, we learned ten human relation rules. The first one is: Never Condemn, complaint and criticize. It is easy to say, but it is hard to apply to our daily life.
Many of my friends know that I give lots of respect to my Dale Carnegie Instructor: Jewel Maccary, but not many of them don’t know why. Let me share a story with you today about how he influenced/transformed me on this principle.
Jewel never complain, criticize or condemn to anyone. I’ve never heard him complained about anything. Sometimes even I realized that I did something wrong, but he never point it out at all, he just wait until you figure it out by yourself.
Remember that is the first time I coached in Dale Carnegie Training, I was late for the coach’s orientation session, so I missed some important information. I didn’t know that I should dress up formally as a coach, so for those 12 weeks, I wear jeans, slippers, tanks etc. Everytime Jewel see me, he will just say: Hello Olina, I am happy to see you today, instead of point out my dress code is wrong.
It last until I went to another orientation session, Jewel guide us through on how to become a great coach, and first thing he mentioned is: You need dress up professionally; presenting yourself formally in front of the group. Or else, Karen King, our boss will deducts my point. Then I felt I was such a loser, since I was in the wrong dress code for the whole semester, but Jewel never correct me on it, he is so patient that he believe everyone is smart enough to figure out everything by themselves.
To be frankly, I used to be a very impatient individual, especially when I see someone doing something wrong, I can’t wait to point it out, I want to tell them what the right thing to do. But after I know Jewel, I graduate turn my criticism into appreciation. I try to look from the positive point of everyone around me and praise them, yes, you are right, it include to Olina herself. Since Jewel showed a perfect example for me on how to treat people generously and never condemn, criticize and complaint.
Remember that, you can never change a person unless he wants to change himself. Yes, you can’t change him, but you can influence him in a positive way!
The information below is from a talk by Adryenn Ashley, WowIsMe.com at Silicon Valley Startup Funding Meetup/1720 on 4/01/10. Significantly enhanced by Peter, Organizer.(Peter@Engr-Net.com). I felt that those are very valuable information, what you do think?
1. Have a clear Mission, Vision & Goals. Resolve to make the time to write the most important reasons you are in business [Mission], where you want to go [Vision] and what impact you want to have in the world. Now plan your Smart Goals:
S – specific, significant, stretching
M – measurable, meaningful, motivational
A – achievable, agreed upon, action-oriented
R – realistic, relevant, rewarding, results-oriented
T – timely, tangible, trackable
2. An attention-getting Marketing Message. Make your marketing message about the Client, not you. Convey a message about their problems, challenges, or pain. You want them to think, “That’s my prob-lem”. Now that you got their attention, tell them how you can solve their problem/s. Have a passion for your biz and your Clients will catch your enthusiasm and buy you.
3. Compelling Marketing Materials (including Web-Site & Blog). Your marketing information should be in this order:
a) State the problem Prospects are having, so that you show you understand what they are going thru.
b) Tell them how you will “solve” their Problem, and what it will be like when the problem is resolved.
c) Prove to them how it works from the experience of other Clients or even the Beta Testers.
d) Ask them to take Action to find out more about your Product or Services.
4. Visibility for yourself or your Business. Network with and talk to possible Clients as much as possible. Ask them if they think your solution will solve their problem. Do talks at groups. Host a mini Seminar or Webinar to explain your product.
5. A Mailing List to keep in touch with those interested on a regular basis (ie, once a month). Tell them about new features, success stories. They’re open and want to be convinced.
6. Communication. Ideally, have a standard list of questions, that you ask Prospects to find out their needs. Then listen and take notes. Once they have identified their most important problems, explain how your product/service can solve it (if it can). Then, ask for the Order.
If you have a Service or long term Product delivery schedule, use the below.
7. Contract. Draft an Agreement of what the Prospect will get if they work with you (ie, Deliverables), milestones, & terms. Keep it short & simple. Negotiate the Terms, if you have to.
8. Capability. Set up mile-stones of what you plan to achieve at each stage. Ask for their cooperation to keep on shedule.
9. Celebrate your Victory when you have: a) product installed, b) a happy Customer, c) meet Sales Goals or have finished the Project.
10. Bust your butt giving good service to support your Customer. Ask them what they think; how you could improve.