Some friends asked me why I decided to go to such an intensive program for 10 days. I also asked myself about it when I try to quit several times. I feel the enthusiastic to meditation is my No 1 reason. I always want to get into meditation but I can’t simply sit here for more than 15 minutes myself. So I decided to make some changes. I also feel that I have some intensive healing works to do. I feel my heart is wounded for the past years, through all the coaching, therapy, relaxing, I almost myself 85% healed, but the rest 15% is already there, I don’t know how long to hear, so I want to give meditation a try.
I woke up at 7:30am on the first day. According to schedule, the first meditation is happening at 4:30am in the morning, but it is not mandatory and I didn’t even try to wake up that early. The first group seating time is at 8am, that is something I am aiming for. I ate a banana for breakfast, then go to the meditation hall to do the group seating. For this year end session, we have 200 people attended, so each of us got a seating area with base seating cushion. I bought my own meditation gear with me.
During the first two days, they taught us a meditation technique called: Anashana. Basically you sit there and aware of your breath. The breathe in and breathe out. I felt my mind is like a wild horse, it is going everywhere except in the meditation hall. It sometimes wondered to the past, sometimes planning future for me, it just won’t stay present with me. I got use to it already, so I let it go, so the whole day just passed by with me sitting there and my minds traveled around. The disclosure was the highlight of the day, since it taught us why we do what we do and what is the meaning behind it. It made my day not that boring but I still doubt that I can survive the whole 10 days. But since we don’t have any outside disturbance or any interruption(they took our phones on the first day, but anyway I don’t want to check it). I kinds of enjoying myself doing nothing there.
I heard Vipassana from my coaching community. Lots of people in the community experienced it and praise about it. So I decided to give it a try on 2013 Year end.
The program I went is located in Occidental from Dec 22nd to Jan 2nd. Before I went, I have zero meditation experience. I doubt if I can meditate for 10 days in silence. So the mindset I come in is: As long as I go, I don’t expect in certain result. If in the middle of it, I decided I don’t like it. I give myself full permission to give up. It is just one way I honor my own happiness and my feelings.
I arrived in retreat center around 5pm, it is already dark. I was greeted warmly by the staff and checked in my cabin. I will share a heated cabin with another 11 girls in this 10 days, it is bunk bed style and the mattress is not very comfortable, but since I didn’t have much expectation, so I was fine with it.
They did feed us for dinner on first night, but after dinner, they started to introduced the program, all the rules, and told us the silent starts tonight. So my silent retreat started in dark on Dec 23rd 2013.
I started to read a book ‘Think and Grow rich’ recently. It has been on my reading list for many years, but I only finished the first chapter, then leave it there.
This time, when I listen to the audio book, the definition of Napolian Hill’s rich catch my heart. Here are the 12 things he consider to evaluate rich:
1. Positive Attitude.
2. Sound Physical Heath.
3. Harmony in Human Relations.
4. Freedom from fear.
5. The hope of future achievement.
6. The capacity of apply things.
7. Willingness to share one’s blessing with others.
8. To be engaged in the labor of love.
9. Open mind to all subject to all people.
10. Complete self discipline.
11. Wisdom and wish to understand people.
12. Financial Security.
Did you notice that they put the financial security on the last of the list? It is very different to what I used to think before, how about yours?
February is still considering the beginning of the year, I am creating my vision board and wish list for the year now, and I can feel this list will shape my list a lot. Especially No 9 and 11. Wish it benefit your life as well. Happy Chinese New Year!