Olina Qian

I first heard this story from Russell Martin, my Dale Carnegie Coach. He is always smiling, staying positive and caring about others. He is the main reason I joined the Dale Carnegie Training.

I still remember that’s last December. I was stuck in something. I felt hopeless yet don’t know what to do. I was seeking for some encouragement and support but don’t know how. One day, Meiji, my friend forwarded me a link for a free session of Dale Carnegie Training. I’ve read some books about Dale Carnegie when I was in China. So I decided to make a visit.

That’s a cold Thursday afternoon, I am not sure if my inside is warmer than outside though. Seems all my energies being sucked up. So I sat there quietly. The first thing in the session was self introduction. All the coaches went in front and introduced themselves. They all talked about their passion and their strength. When it was Russell’s turn, he smiled like Sunshine; he spoke with a very pleasant voice: Hi Everyone, I am Russell Martin, my goal here is to giving. Since I believe giving is lots of better than receiving…..

I felt something lightening up in my heart and I have not seen such an enthusiasm individual for a long time. I was influenced by his enthusiasm and his smile. I even want to cry when I heard his talking. I asked myself: Why life needs to be so difficult! Why life needs to be so dark. Life should be as beautiful as he expressed, we just need to choose the thing to do and surrounded ourselves with good people. So because of his attitude, I decided to sign up the course.

Later I learned that life is not smooth for Russell at all. He got laid off before that session and his wife got pregnant at the same time too. I can imagine how stressful life is for him. But he still stayed positive, I’ve never heard him complain at all. Every class I see him, he is smiling and ask what’s going on in my life without talk about his own stressfulness.

Each Dale Carnegie training, we need to make a ROI(Return of Investment). Russell’s ROI is to find a job within those 13 weeks. Thanks God, he got an offer on the 12th week. I was so happy for him and I believed his enthusiasm contribute a lot to his progress.

We have an inspiration closing for each classs. Once its Russell’s turn. Russell read the following story to us. I think I received lots of strength in this story. It encouraged me to make a right decisions, painful but beneficial in a long run. I also chose to live my life with passion, just like Russell did. Since life is all about choice.

Later, as you know, I chose to go back to the Dale Carnegie Course as a coach too. Next week, I will conduct an inspiration closing as well. I decided to share this story with my current class members. I wish I can become a coach 10 percent as good as Russell Martin and I wish I can bring my enthusiasm to people who need help like I did before. Just like he said: Giving is much more better than Receiving.

So without further due, here is the story:

Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, “If I were any better, I would be twins!”

He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, “I don’t get it! You can’t be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?” Jerry replied, “Each morning I wake up and say to myself, ‘Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.’ I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.”

“Yeah, right, it’s not that easy,” I protested. “Yes, it is,” Jerry said. “Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It’s your choice how you live life.”

I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.

I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, “If I were any better, I’d be twins. Wanna see my scars?” I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. “The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door,” Jerry replied. “Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live.” “Weren’t you scared? Did you lose consciousness?” I asked. Jerry continued, “The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, ‘He’s a dead man.’ “I knew I needed to take action.”

“What did you do?” I asked. “Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me,” said Jerry.

“She asked if I was allergic to anything. ‘Yes,’ I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breathe and yelled, ‘Bullets!’ Over their laughter, I told them. ‘I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.” Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.