Olina Qian

Just came back from session three of Dale Carnegie Trainning and I feel that I made a breakthrough today!

I was assigned to do opening session A for this class. For those of you who have been to the class, you probably know that it’s not an easy job. It generally takes around 10 minutes to open the class, gets some feedback about improvement and reading, states out the learning objective of this session, then welcome our instructor. Last time Boris did a great opening, so I got lots of tension on it.

Our Head of coach Sarika is also worrying about me, so she asked if I need help. We got some guidelines from our instructor, then I started to prepare for it.

It took me around 5 hours to make clear what I need to do and put everything in writting. In terms of public speaking, I have no fear about it. Since I’ve been hosting events for a while. But how to make my speech interesting and how to get interactive with my audience is a true art. This time I kind of lost my confidence.

I called my instructor Jewel twice today, he pointed out some of my problems after rehearsal. Then I put everything down in writting before the class. When I stepped into the classroom. I guess Jewel sensed out my nervous. So he came to me and asked: how do you feel today. I showed him my cheetsheet and said: See, this is what I came out so far. Do you want to take a look.

Jewel looked at me into my eyes and tell me: You know, I’ve been coaching for twenty years, there is never a perfect opening, there is never a bad opening as well. Since nobody knows what will you say in the next minute. The only person who knows you made mistake is yourself. You never know how many mistake I’ve made in my teaching. But that’s ok, you can make it up one way or another. So just go up and say whatever you feel comfortable to say.

I feel much more relax after he said it. So I asked Jewel, do you want me to practice one more time with you? He said: Well, I will only do so if you like me to do it. But I think you are fine. You’ve been put so many time in it. I believe you will do a good job.

See, that’s the magic of Jewel. He knows the art how to easy my worry. Now I feel much more better.. So I started to relax and found out one of my class memebers needs to practice his speech. I went outside with him to help prepare. Until 6:30pm, Jewel called us back and tell me: Let me know when you are ready, then I will announce it for you.

I almost forget what I am going to say, but somehow I feel confident today, so I told Jewel: Yes, I am ready! Then Jewel announced: Let’s welcome Olina Qian.

I quickly grab my text book, along with my cheetsheet. I ran up to the front with my big smile. I take a big breath and start to say:

Good evening Everyone. Welcome the session 3A, I wish everyone had a wonderful week.

Let’s first start as thinking of one word answers what has worked well for you this week. You can pick it from five drivers of success or anything you feel helpful. Also one word to describe the result it brings to you. Better or worse. For example, My is stress-reducing.

This week I tend to list out all the things I need to work on in my to-do-or-die list. And come out the result is perfect. It helped me to priorize things and make me do thing more efficient.

Then I need a volunteer for it. Who is next?

At first, nobody raised their hand, I was little worried but quickly someone raised their hand. I asked him to talked about his idea. Then more people raised hands. So I asked five of my class members to talk about their improvement. Then I decide to carry on.

I say: Ok, let see what we gain from reading this week. Start from How to Win Friend and Influence peole. Tell me what impressed you and why?

There is nobody raised their hand. I felt lucky that I did my homework. So I start to say:

What I learn from reading is a story. A lady’s church has a program that each women needs to bring back a list, ask their husband to list out ten things they expect wife to change. So she bring back a list to her husband as well. The husband was thinking, Ten things? At least I can come up 20 things.

So he started to think and think, eventually, he didn’t write down anything. He booked a flower, sent to home along with a little note says that: You know what, honey, you are perfect. I am so happy to have you in my life. I have nothing to expect you to change….

What I learn from this story is that we need to treat others like human being, just like ourselves. Or say treat others as the way you wish to be treated. Respect each individual, just like yourself. It also falls into the No 1 Golden rule: Never complaint, comdemn and criticize.

I think my story warmed the class a little bit. They start to share their thoughts. I see things are getting more smooth.

Jewel reminded me that time is up. So I told class members to open book and go to Page 3.3. I said: The learning objective for session three is to plan and prepare to reach breakthrough enthusiasm goal. I need a volunteer to read the 2nd one. Someone raised their hand, so I told him to read. Then 3rd one.

Finally, I am almost done. I start to relax and say: Ok! now let’s welcome our instructor–Jewel Maccary!

Jewel runned up to front with Enthusiasm, then I went back to my seat. Sarika gave me a big hug said: ‘You are wonderful! You did a great job tonight’. I feltl so happy to hear it. I said ‘Thank you’ to her.

After class, I was chatting to another coach. Jewel came to me and asked me, how do you feel about the session opening for this class. The other coach thought Jewel is asking her, so she said: wow, it is amazing! We started to worry how to do the next session opening now. Since Olina did such a great job tonight!

But Jewel say: no, Olina, I am asking you. What do you think about this session opening.

I don’t know what to answer. I said: mmn, I feel that I forget something, so I still need to look at my cheatsheet sometimes…

Jewel interrupt me and said: You know what? If I were you, I will say: I think I did a great job tonight. Everything went smoothly and I am doing great! Olina, you can’t be too hard on yourself. You need to learn to relax and have fun. Be nice to yourself.

BE NICE TO YOURSELF! That’s the most important lesson I’ve learned tonight. Grew up in a Chinese Culture, we always been expected to do lots of things. We always have a higher goal to achieve. We never satisfied. But tonight, this wisdom gentleman tought me an important life llesson: You can’t be too hard on yourself! Be nice to yourself! If you are not nice to yourself, you can’t enjoy your life.

So today’s breakthrough is–I started to learn to BE NICE TO MYSELF! Pat my back and tell myself that: Olina, you are doing great!