I do my thing and you do your thing,
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
and you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you and I am I,
and if by chance we find each other, it is beautiful.
If not, it can’t be helped!
—-Fritz Perls, “Gestalt Therapy Verbatim”, 1969
I often wondering what is the difference between Caution and Fear, and from today’s Neale Donald Walsh new letter, I find my answer:
Caution is natural, but fear is not. Do not give into fear, yet do not abandon caution.
It is a balancing act. Caution is what causes you to look both ways before crossing the street. Fear is what keeps you frozen on the curb forever. You know the difference. You can feel it.
If you’re “stuck” right now, you’re probably into fear. Get out of there. You’ve already looked both ways. Now cross the street, for heaven sake. The cars have long since gone. The coast is clear. Your only obstacle now is your own mind.
Now I am going to cross my road now! How about you?
Today I had an interesting conversation with a friend. We talked about going with flow, we talked about not attach to any result, suddenly it reminds me a relative of mine. We grow up together, I am a very out-going person and I value connection. But he is a very silent person without speaking about his feeling much. So during our interaction, I always feel that I love him a lot, but seems he doesn’t love me at all, since he never say so. So sometimes I feel hurt, I feel lonely, I want to change the situation, so I try harder to win him over, but the more I try, the more I feel the distance. When I tell my friend about this situation. He said:
If someone is not generally an affectionate person, then trying to be affectionate in order to win his favor will not work. Similarly, it means that if someone craves affection, then being distant won’t help. Finally, it also means that sometimes 2 people are just fundamentally different in their outlook on life. You are very outgoing, and speak in very non-engineering terms, while he is very practical and down-to-earth, without flowery speech. So it’s not surprising that the more you try to love, the more ‘annoying’ it may get to him…
It is actually very insightful. Suddenly I realize that I should give others what they want, instead of what I want. I can’t use my way to love other people, I can only RESPECT his way of love and appreciate the difference. And in the meantime, I should have a trust that maybe he loves me deeply inside, it might be just the way we show love is different.
After our conversation, I feel lots of better about it. Maybe it doesn’t need me to try HARDER, it need some space, for him to be 100% himself and me to be 100% myself. Then we build the relationship on it. Very interesting learning today!
Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
You’ll look up and down streets. Look ‘em over with care.
About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you’re too smart to go down any not-so-good street.
And you may not find any
you’ll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you’ll head straight out of town.
(more…)
This poem is given by Charlie Chaplin when he speaks at his 70th birthday, I love it so much!
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering
are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY.”
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody
As I try to force my desires on this person,
even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it,
and even though this person was me.
Today I call it “RESPECT.”
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life,
and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.
Today I call it “Maturity,”
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance,
I am in the right place at the right time,
and everything happens at the exactly right moment.
So I could be calm.
Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE.”
(more…)
– written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s –
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
A lovely poem Caroline sent to me: The Invitation by Oriah, hope you like it as much as I do:
It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon…
I want to know
if you have touched
the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.
(more…)
Thanks Paige for her email, I just read an article she recommended from Long Term Tips. And I found it totally make sense. What do you think? How many things will you do differently after you read this article?
The working too hard one and the allow yourself to be happy one really speaks to me today. I felt that I have the tendency to work hard on my battle, so I am working on keep the work-life balance recently by being fully present to my family and friends and spend time with them. I am also working on the project that what makes me happier, then implement it. So far, I’ve tried replace my regular breakfast to Power Juicer, take more breaks than I used to and watch more movies when I have time. I find that I do feel happier than before, the list is increasing in the ongoing base, and I fully enjoyed the process.
Ok, without further due, here is the article:
Top 5 Regrets People Make on their Deathbed
By Bronnie Ware (who worked for years nursing the dying)
For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
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